35 Weeks and Running Strong

I am 35 weeks pregnant today and was so proud of myself for running hard on the treadmill this morning! 

Belly Selfie

I am very thankful for my treadmill because it is about the only place I can comfortably run now, pushing Zelda in the stroller with hills is way too hard if I want to actually run. Pushing her on a flat surface is definitely easier but I like that the treadmill forces me to maintain my pace a little more. It seems as if the further along I am getting in my pregnancy the harder I have been making myself run on the treadmill, this is not what happened when I was pregnant with Zelda but I guess I am less afraid to push myself this time. Plus I am wearing belly support whenever I run, couldn't do it without that. My calves are sore since I am running hard with all of this extra weight. I have been trying to run about every other day, sometimes every day but with a shorter run or just a walk after a hard run like today. 
A hard run for me right now is 3 miles with my pace between 4.0 and 6.2, yes that's normally slow for me but believe me that 6.2 feels like a sprint now so I can't maintain it for long but today I managed to maintain it a lot longer, woohoo! My comfortable running pace is usually at 5.0 so that I have been able to maintain a LOT longer than I was before. 
I should probably be doing more strength training, I was doing that consistently about twice a week but lately I have not been doing it at all. I was even able to fully push ups a couple weeks ago when I was still doing the strength training, maybe I should plan on starting my day with that tomorrow...we'll see. I have to admit I sleep in as late as possibly nowadays (which is usually 7ish), I used to try to get up and get a bible study or workout in before Zelda woke up but now it has been all about sleeping as long as possible. 

peaceful moments with Zelda

34 weeks; The Zelda Post

At 34 weeks pregnant the only thing I really think about anymore is sleep and how much I just want to be doing that. So why then am I awake at 3 am? Because my husband and I just spent an hour dealing with "middle of the night Zelda drama" and now I'm just wide awake, although I have to admit that scrolling through everyone else's Facebook photos is starting to lull me back to sleep. 

In preparation for the new baby (and because it just needed to happen sooner or later) we finally moved Zelda out of the crib and into my old twin bed, she was very excited about it yesterday when Daddy was setting it up in her room, so I was hopeful it would be an easy transition. And for the most part it was easy, for example she stays in it simply because we told her that was the rule. Except for at almost midnight the first night when she rolls out of it and lands on the carpet floor like a sack of potatoes. Daddy who was downstairs (still awake playing video games) hears the loud "Bang" from the upstairs and knows exactly what it is, goes up there and finds a still sleeping child on the floor, scoops her up and puts her back in bed. It's not until after he has left the room that she finally wakes and up and is quite upset. The part that gets me is that most of why she is upset is because it is Daddy who goes back into her room to help her and not Mommy. 
By now I'm awake because I hear her screaming "Mommy!" although I still have no idea that a few minutes earlier she had fallen out of her new bed. I am simply upset that Mommy is being demanded even though Daddy is already in there trying to help her. Long story short she just needed to go potty so I help her with that and my husband and I decide we need to put her mattress on the floor for the rest of the night. 
So that brings me to today, today Zelda was a bit of an emotional wreck all day probably due to not sleeping well. After church we went to Babies R Us and bought a guard rail to put on her bed. It seems to be working, it's secure and she has not fallen out of the bed. So why did she wake up tonight? Because again, she needed to go potty, why? Probably because we let her take a spill proof water bottle to bed every night. It was great when she was younger, it was part of what helped her sleep through the night in the first place but now with potty training it seems to be creating a whole new problem. The other problem is when Daddy went to her to help her, she again screamed because she really wanted Mommy to help her, there are so many layers to our problems. At first I refrained from getting up, I had hope that Zelda would get over it and be gracious to her Daddy, but she didn't. Instead she continued crying and saying she needed to go potty despite the fact that Daddy already took her and she already went successfully. It was time for drastic measures, I got up and I told her that the consequence for making up stories (a nice way of saying she was lying about needing to go potty) was that she was losing her water bottle. You would have thought I had just slapped her across the face the way she screamed about this. This reaction from her stirs up several different feelings in me, one I am just so annoyed I want to leave the room and let her scream all night, and two I feel really bad because I know how attached she is to that stupid water bottle and part of me wants to give her a second chance, or just give her the bottle because it is a sure fire way to get her to calm down and be quiet. But often times as a parent if we want to truly teach our kids it means taking the long way instead of the easy way, sometimes this can feel like we're punishing ourselves because it isn't what we would prefer to be doing at that moment. Also if there's anything I've been convicted about lately it's that as a parent I need to stick to my word. 
Zelda's a smart girl and although the concept of lying is a maybe a difficult one, I figured if she is old enough to be lying to us about things like needing to use the potty (because the truth is she does use it as a way to delay bed time, asking to go 3 times in a row, things like that) then she is old enough to learn that lying is wrong. I took the time to talk to her about this and was even able to get her to admit that she had lied. She was still upset about the consequence of having the water bottle taken away so I took the time to pray with her that Jesus would help her deal with that consequence and help her sleep. THAT was when she finally relaxed, while I was praying with her. Woohoo I feel like I had a small Mommy victory and although I know this bedtime, potty battle probably isn't over I feel like I had a huge step in Zelda's development as a person. It's difficult right now when she demands Mommy despite the fact that Daddy is right there trying to help her, she is incredibly head strong and seemingly small things send her into a screaming tantrum when she doesn't get her way (one annoying epiphany is when I realized that she totally gets that from me), but we're dealing with it and we've just learned that we have to respond quickly and very consistently with her. I have learned a lot from being Zelda's Mommy, it's a challenge and it pushes me to become stronger and to be better. Although I can completely imagine how easy life without kids might be, I wouldn't trade the things I'm learning through parenthood. I wouldn't trade the way it brings me to my knees daily in prayer because I finally realize I cannot be the kind of parent I want to be without God's strength and grace every single day. I wouldn't trade the way it's brought Michael and I closer as we face the challenges and grow and reap the rewards of it together. 
I don't know exactly what new challenges will come with this new baby and being a mom of two, but I'm finding that the challenges we face in life can all be traced back to our minds. What are we thinking about throughout the day? What is our perspective? Am I choosing to see every little aspect of Zelda that needs correcting, or am I choosing to focus on the small victories? When I pray with her and she relaxes, or when she says "thank you" without being prompted, those are my victories and I will give God all of the glory for those!