Clearly it’s been a few years since I’ve written in this blog considering the previous post was the story of my c-section with Raiden. It’s fun returning here but I can’t believe I don’t even have Logan’s birth written down as so many special things happened in his birth. Logan’s was special because it was my first home birth and VBAC. I had the longest break between Raiden and Logan’s pregnancies and didn’t know what to expect from labor this time around. A couple of the highlights were that I labored so fast that I wasn’t even aware Logan was crowning until my midwife told me to “reach down and feel your power.” I reached down and realized he was almost out but the bag of waters was still in tact! Amazing! At that point Michael was ready to catch him and I have a clear memory of both of our hands reaching down feeling his head just before he came out and Michael caught him.
Back to Riddick
For context, my first birth was in the hospital without extra interventions or pain relief, I have always desired to do birth as normal and natural as possible. My second was a C-section because he was breech and my third was my first home, water birth, VBAC. So this is my second VBAC and what I am learning is that it’s a good thing I don’t desire pain relief because my labors are so fast that there isn’t time for anything.
Before you start thinking I’m lucky to have fast labors just know that fast labors are incredibly intense. I like how my midwife described it, “you do the same amount of work in half the time. It’s like sprinting a marathon.” Hopefully that makes sense.
Anyway as most of you know I was already past 40 weeks and we really wanted the baby to be born in 2021 so on the morning of December 31 after texting a friend and my midwife I made the decision to try taking Castor Oil to get labor started. I have never done this before but from what I was hearing it was supposed to be quite effective and I was pretty sure if I did this I would have the baby that day. I took a Tablespoon mixed with ice cream at 10:30 that morning. (If you’re pregnant and reading please don’t take that as advice to get labor started. There are risks to this method: primarily GI upset which I’m thankful I did not have). I had some lunch and yes I was already having contractions but keep in mind I’d been having lots of prodromal labor for the last two weeks so I wasn’t sure yet if I was in labor or if this was just more of that. I decided to take a nap after lunch and woke around 2:00 pm not feeling much different. I even texted my midwife that nothing was happening. 30 minutes later however, I started to feel them. More consistent but still very minor contractions. I’m learning that it’s hard for me to admit when I need my midwife to be present, although I think deep inside I knew I wanted her there already. Michael texted her and she asked “do you want me to come?” It took everything in me to say “yes.” Almost immediately after that I felt a trickle as my water broke just a little and I told Michael and he texted her what happened. She responded “on the way.”
My memory is foggy but I think this is about the time we called a neighbor to see if she could come watch our older kids. Praise God she answered and was able to come over right away. I had also prepped dinner and it was already cooking in the Instant Pot on the slow cooker setting. I even went downstairs between contractions and helped my neighbor add some time to the Instant Pot because the food seemed like it wasn’t going to be ready at the scheduled stop time.
I went back upstairs and I started texting a few friends and family so that they could pray for us as we labored and that’s when I got emotional. I’ve cried a little during my last two labors, it’s just such an emotional process and I’m sure I was feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness but sometimes it’s hard to pinpoint exactly what causes the tears to fall.
At this point my contractions were coming regularly, a minute or two apart and I was mostly feeling the pressure down low around my cervix. Looking back I feel like I was handling them pretty well, just breathing and relaxing as much as possible. My midwife arrived along with her assistant midwife and when she checked me she was amazed that I was at 9cm. That’s a lot of work my body had already done! The catch was that baby boy was still high and not in my pelvis so I knew the work wasn’t finished yet. I continued laboring as the midwives set up their things for the birth and Michael inflated the pool and then started filling it with warm water.
At some point during all of this my contractions completely changed to where I was feeling them entirely in my lower back plus they were more intense than before. In my previous home birth with Logan I had only felt contractions all over the front of my belly so this was different. My midwife informed me that what I was feeling was the baby coming down into my pelvis and I instinctively pictured this happening in my mind. I was starting to feel ready to get in the pool but my midwife suggested I do a few squats during the contractions to help the baby come down, so that’s what I did.
At some point I decided to lay down in bed and I felt a small pop and then a gush as my water broke (we had plastic under our sheets to protect the mattress and I was on a pad that can absorb lots of water) much more dramatically than before. This is the point where the pain level rose significantly, in fact I would say it was practically pain free prior to this. I stayed right on the bed for a couple more contractions and then realized I was transitioning to pushing. They asked if I wanted to get in the pool and I did but it was also difficult to think and difficult to move. Unfortunately I think this is the part where I started to fight the contractions instead of relax through them. Between contractions my midwives helped me get up and into the water. The water definitely takes the edge off of the pain and I found a way to sit down and wait for the contractions. I had a couple where I was pushing and on the third or fourth I think is when he crowned. That contraction went away though and he receded back inside which is totally normal but I was disappointed because needless to say I really wanted him out at this point. I had a couple weak contractions that didn’t do anything so we waited. With the next big one I did my best to really push into the pressure and this time when I got him to where he was almost out I switched my breathing to more of a pant and braced myself trying not to let him recede back inside. My midwife started repeating a couple times “push your baby out” which I probably needed to hear because he was proving to be more of a challenge than my last baby. I kept pushing and within maybe 10 seconds or so he was free, born at 6:00 pm. Michael caught him and handed him to me. The relief you feel when the baby is finally out is hard to describe, the pain is immediately gone and your baby is in your arms. My midwife exclaimed “where were you hiding all of that, that’s a lot of baby!” He did turn out to be 8 pounds and 6 oz which is my biggest baby. All of the others have been around 7.5 lbs.
Thank you for reading this! I’ve included a bunch of picture from the labor and birth that are raw and beautiful (nothing graphic I promise). My husband set up all of the cameras and took the pictures using a remote clicker while also helping me cope with contractions. We also have a video of the whole process because he set a camera in the room and let it record. As I sit here watching the video I can’t help but marvel at how different things are from my first baby. I’m recovering in bed and there’s a 2.5 year old toddler tumbling around the bed next to me while I hold my newborn. I never pictured myself as a Mom of 4 but God had other plans and His ways are perfect.
Seeing their new brother for the first time
Logan becoming a big brother
I’m sure Michael said something funny
