Well we met with Lauren (my Nurse Midwife who also delivered Zelda) last Wednesday and after lots of questions we decided to schedule the C-section for this Wednesday June 24 at 12:30. I had considered still waiting until I went into labor, simply to give Raiden more time to flip, and also because I just believe it is best to let labor start naturally but we opted to schedule because that allows us to choose which Doctor and which midwife will be present for the delivery, versus if I just went into labor on my own we would have whomever was on call that day. I chose the Dr. that already attempted to turn the baby, she is planning to try to turn the baby one more time before the C-section, this time I will be numb (in preparation for the C-section) and perhaps she will have better success, however she has not given me a lot of hope for that. This particular Dr. is also known for being one of the best at surgeries. I also chose to have Lauren be present assisting the Doctor. Michael and I are very comfortable with her, we trust her, and just having her present will calm me immensely. The C-section will also be what's called "Family Centered," this makes the experience a lot nicer. I will be able to have the curtain lowered, Michael can take pictures of the entire process, and the baby can come straight to me for some skin to skin. Provided the baby and I are doing fine there will be no reason for him to be taken away from us.
I feel like somehow I have come to terms with the idea of having a C-section, in an odd way I have become attached to the idea. I still think it would of course be great if the final attempt to turn him works, and then we could just go home and wait for labor to start on it's own, basically back to the original plan. But as of now I have resolved in my mind that the C-section is what is going to happen. I am obviously a little nervous about the surgery itself but it's just something I have to get through. It will be an experience for sure, and it definitely gives me a different perspective into childbirth. As much as I want to work with pregnant women or just women in general whether it's as a personal trainer or a doula, it's good to have this other perspective. God definitely knows how to push someone out of their comfort zone.
There are so many reasons that my first choice for giving birth would be without the assistance of drugs or anything other than the encouragement of my husband or a doula. It's healthier for the baby not to be exposed to so many drugs right before transitioning to life outside the womb, it allows the mother's natural hormones to work properly allowing proper bonding with the baby and ease of breastfeeding after birth. I love feeling my body working hard the way it was created to, I love the challenge, and the feeling of accomplishment after it's over. Your mind is clear and focused after baby is born and you can really enjoy those first few moments of your baby's life.
C-section takes some of those things away from me, BUT I think it can still provide me with a very cool birth experience, not to mention this is the safest way for Raiden to be born if he's gonna insist on being breech. Nothing against normal breech birth, I know it's completely possible and if it was an option where I am I would probably try it, but it isn't. So I can't spend my time wondering if a normal breech birth would have been possible in my case.
I am thankful for all of the friends and family who have spent so much time talking to me or listening to me while I worked through and dealt with my emotions.
I am thankful I have had several weeks to come to terms with this.
I am thankful for everything I have learned and all of the ways I have been stretched.
I am thankful for good prenatal care and Nurse Midwives and Doctors who's opinions I trust.
I am thankful for mine and baby's health.
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